Guilt

Pages 61-71: I haven't seen Finny for several days. His leg is shattered and he can't have visitors. I'm thinking and acting stangely since the accident. I'm worried I'll be blamed for Finny's injury. This morning after chapel, Dr. Stanpole said I could visit Finny and help him understand why he could not do sports again. This made me start to cry. I stopped quickly when Dr. Stanpole said Finny asked to see me. I thought Finny was going to accuse me to my face of making him fall out of the tree on purpose.
When I went into his room, Finny thought I was the one who looked sick. When I asked him about the accident he said he thought he had just lost his balance and fallen. He apologized about a weird feeling he had about how I looked when it was happening. I felt I had to tell him the truth because I knew that's what he would have done. I tried to confess, but first Dr. Stanpole, then a nurse came into the room and I didn't get the chance.
Finny couldn't have any visitors the next day and went home soon after. I've been home on break since summer session ended. I took a train back to Boston and decided to visit Finny at home before going back to Devon.
We were having a friendly conversation until I confessed what I had done to cause his accident. Finny refused to believe me. He said he would hit or kill me if I didn't shut up. I told him that's how I had felt about him when I made him fall. Finally, I realized it was hard for Finny to hear the truth. I was hurting him again. To him, this hurt was probably worse than the first. I tried to make excuses and cover up my words by blaming them on the long train ride and lack of sleep. These were why I was not making sense. I left to return to school.