Conclusion

Pages 178-204: Finny is dead.

After the accident he was taken to the infirmary. I went there hoping to talk to him. Opening the window to his room, I tried to apologize. He was so upset I could only repeat how sorry I was over and over. I left without going into his room. I walked to the stadium and slept there all night outside.

The next morning I packed up some things Finny would need and brought them to the infirmary. In the room with him, I reminded him how I had tried to confess the truth to him when I visited him in his home in Boston. Finny said he understood and believed I hadn't caused the accident because of hate I felt toward him or any other personal reason. He said he realized I had done it on impulse. I left after Dr. Stanpole told me to come back around 5:00. When I returned he told me Finny's heart had stopped during the surgery.

Afer Finny's funeral, I enlisted in the Navy and will go to Pensacola for training. I feel as if I've already fought a war, a war which never really existed between Finny and myself. I killed my enemy at school. I'll never cry over Finny. I'll never talk about Finny because I can't use the past tense when talking about him. It seems as if he still lives on with me.

Facing the Truth

Pages 152-177: The truth about his accident was finally forced on Finny. I cannot believe it happened as it did.

When I returned from Leper's, Finny and about 20 other students were having a snowball fight. I wasn't going to join in until Finny hit the back of my head with a snowball. He switched sides several times during the fight until no one knew which side was which. It finally ended with everyone throwing snowballs at Finny. Later, I thought it was a good sign that Finny said he thought his leg was getting stronger. That wasn't true.

After dinner, Brinker came to our room. He guessed what had happened to Leper. Then he accused me of not enlisting because of my pity for Finny. He also thought this would make Finny pity himself. Another surprise occured when Finny told me he now believed the war was real because of what it did to Leper. He said after the chapel service he saw Leper hiding in the bushes. I didn't know it at the time but Leper would play an important part in that night's events.

About 10:00 that evening, the events began which led to the terrible truth Finny had to face. Brinker and 3 others came to our room and took Finny and me to the First Building. We went to the Assembly Room and found 10 members of the senior class seated on a raised platform with a railing around it. They were wearing their black graduation robes and looked like a jury. At first Finny and I didn't understand what was going on until Brinker told Finny to describe his accident. Brinker said he wanted to know because Finny couldn't take part in the war and he had to find out why. When Finny couldnt remember the exact details leading to his accident and I didn't want to remember them, Brinker said Leper always remembered details. When Finny said Leper was at school, two boys went went to get him. Leper did remember details and described what he had seen in the tree. He had seen one person shaking the branch and another person falling.

The truth finally hit Finny who had once said he believed in me, not books, not teachers- me. He rushed out of the room. Finny falling down the steps was the sound we heard to close the trial.

The Visit

Pages 139-151: Both my trip to Leper's house and my visit with him were a disaster. First I traveled overnigt on the train, then took the bus. I reached town at dawn. I walked the rest of the way to Leper's.
When I went inside, Leper told me he spends most of his time in the dining room because he gets his meals there three times a day. I felt something was very wrong when Leper said people get into problems in their living rooms. It seemed he felt just living was a problem. Things became worse when I asked him when he was returning to the army. Using the word "normal" really upset Leper. He accused me of thinking he's a psycho. The army was going to give him a Section Eight discharge. He explained this was for the mentally disturbed soldiers. It would ruin his life forever. He wouldn't even be able to get a job.
He called me a savage and said I had knocked Finny out of the tree and crippled him for life. Angrily, I kicked the chair he was sitting in knocking him and the chair over.
Mrs. Lepellier came in, suggested I stay for lunch, and later go for a walk which we did. I thought the walk would help Leper but it didn't. He started telling me strange stories about his life in the army. Leper said he couldn't sleep at night. He couldn't eat the food in the Mess Hall. He thought he saw his corporal changing into a woman and yelled for others to come see. He thought a man was coming toward him carrying an amputated leg.
I couldn't listen any more. I told Leper to shut up. I told him I didn't care what happened to him. It had nothing at all to do with me. This was not my real world. I returned to the peace at school.

The Winter Carnival

Pages 123-137: Leper Lepellier has enlisted. After Christmas break, a recruiter came and showed us a film about the United States ski troops. Being from Vermont, I guess the film appealed to him. Since Leper wasn't 18 yet, he could choose the part of the service he wanted to enlist in rather than be drafted and have it chosen for him.

Since winter Saturdays are terrible here at school, Finny decided we had to have a winter carnival with games, prizes,food, music, and even snow statues. So naturally since Finny thought of it- The Winter Carnival took place. Brinker had obtained some jugs of hard cider which he buried under the snow. His roomate Brownie Perkins was put in charge of guarding it. The game prizes were put on the prize table where Finny sat. We all had a good time. Finny even did a one-legged dance on the prize table.

At the end of the day, a telegram was delivered to me. Finny thought it was from the Olympic Committee. It was from Leper asking for my help. He had "escaped" but from what I didn't know.

Conditioning

Pages 103-122: I've just returned from my first successful 6:00am run with my coach, Finny. This all started the day after he came back to Devon. That morning Brinker told him we were going to enlist. This seemed to upset Finny. I felt he needed me and I changed my mind about enlisting. Then instead of going to our classes, Finny wanted to go to the gym. While we were in there, he amazed me by stating there really wasn't a war going on. It's a joke. He knows this while I don't because he's suffered. I know I caused his suffering. Then he challenged me to do 30 chin-ups. I never even did 10 but this time I completed the 30 he wanted done. Along with Finny's idea that the war was fake, I've also learned Finny had wanted to be in the 1944 Olympics. Since he can't be in them, he's training me for them instead. I'm tutoring him in return.

This morning was the first time I completed the running course four times without being winded. After I accomplished this, Finny seemed smaller to me, but maybe it was me who had grown bigger.

The Change

Pages 74-102

I've returned to school and tried to adjust to the changes from the summer session. I'm still in the same room but without a roomate. Brinker Hadley is across the hall instead of Leper Lepellier.

I had an appointment at Crew House to meet with Cliff Quackenbush the student crew manager. I had applied for the job of assistant crew manager. I don't know why I did. This job is usually saved for the physically disabled students. Quackenbush was angry because I was late. We argued. He called me maimed. In a way, he's right. I feel maimed because of what I did to Finny. Maybe I took the job because of him. The arguement turned into a physical fight. When it stopped, Quackenbush told me I wasn't wanted and to leave. On the way back to the dorm I met Mr. Ludsburg who told me I'd had a phone call. It was Finny who had called to see how things had gone my first day back. He was happy to hear I didn't have a roomate and his place was saved. He even apologized again for even thinking I had done something to make him fall. He wasn't happy about me giving up sports or being assistant crew manager. It's a job I probably lost anyway.

The day still wasn't over. Brinker came in and accused me of fixing things so Finny wouldn't come back so I could have a room to myself. I suggested going for a smoke to the Butt Room to end the conversation. Once we entered the room, he continued it with others who were there. I played along by making up the most unbelievable story I could think of, then left.

We've had an early, heavy snow fall that closed the railroad yards nearby. We volunteered to help shovel snow so the trains could go through. The first train to pass carried troops who looked our age. When we returned to school, Brinker said he was enlisting tomorrow. I decided to enlist also. I would fight against an enemy that was really there not one that I put there myself as I had done with Finny. I felt nothing or no one could stop me from enlisting until I opened the door to my room and saw Finny was back.

Guilt

Pages 61-71: I haven't seen Finny for several days. His leg is shattered and he can't have visitors. I'm thinking and acting stangely since the accident. I'm worried I'll be blamed for Finny's injury. This morning after chapel, Dr. Stanpole said I could visit Finny and help him understand why he could not do sports again. This made me start to cry. I stopped quickly when Dr. Stanpole said Finny asked to see me. I thought Finny was going to accuse me to my face of making him fall out of the tree on purpose.
When I went into his room, Finny thought I was the one who looked sick. When I asked him about the accident he said he thought he had just lost his balance and fallen. He apologized about a weird feeling he had about how I looked when it was happening. I felt I had to tell him the truth because I knew that's what he would have done. I tried to confess, but first Dr. Stanpole, then a nurse came into the room and I didn't get the chance.
Finny couldn't have any visitors the next day and went home soon after. I've been home on break since summer session ended. I took a train back to Boston and decided to visit Finny at home before going back to Devon.
We were having a friendly conversation until I confessed what I had done to cause his accident. Finny refused to believe me. He said he would hit or kill me if I didn't shut up. I told him that's how I had felt about him when I made him fall. Finally, I realized it was hard for Finny to hear the truth. I was hurting him again. To him, this hurt was probably worse than the first. I tried to make excuses and cover up my words by blaming them on the long train ride and lack of sleep. These were why I was not making sense. I left to return to school.